Was my grandfather a chimpanzee?

I've always found the Theory of Evolution fishy. Everytime I go to the zoo and I look at the monkeys there, I seriously doubt that our ancestors were just like them. But recently, a few encounters of the younger generation have led me to be increasingly convinced that this Evolution Theory might just be true.

You see, ever so often, I encounter the offsprings of some happily married couple behaving VERY primitively. Just this morning, a father was on the sub with his 2 young sons, apparently on the way to the zoo (maybe they have 1st cousins there who are the main attractions of the animal show). This awesome dad had absolutely NO control of his sons. They ran around the carriage, jumped on and off seats, swung around the overhead handles, and they REALLY resembled monkeys in clothes! This let me to reflect more on my countless previous encounters of primate-behaving children. And then, as some famous talk-show host would call it, I had an "ah-ha" moment. By golly, all this evidence that we come from a long line of mutated primates has been around us ALL THIS TIME!!!

You know they always say that children are the most innocent, pure, true, unpretentious little angels? I am a total convert now. Their endless insane and hair-ripping behaviour is merely them expressing human's primal need to behave like monkeys! Even adults are beginning to lapse into this primal behaviour that we have supposedly evolved from. We are getting lazier and lazier (elevators, escalators) because monkeys never did like walking or running much. We are using our thumbs more and more (think texting on the phone, playing computer games rather than real sports) because our primal forefathers LOVED using their thumbs! We are getting increasingly liberal (teenagers start mating at the age of 14) because our primal daddies and mommies had to mate with anyone and everyone to ensure their genes survived. So really, we are just de-evolving and lapsing back to our God-given nature!
Maybe scientists should look to the mankind of today for the long-lost answer of our ancestral line, rather than spend all that money randomly digging up the soil for bones of the dead WHO CAN'T TALK. Afterall, we are their descendants, I'm pretty sure we can dig up some amazing revelation from ourselves.

Darwin, you're a genius. Either that, or you created this Theory because your neighbour's or sister's children probably drove you up the wall with their primate-like behaviour and you decided to throw in the ultimate insult to mankind. Kudos to you bro!